But God, Today

 ****This blog was originally written a while back, I forgot to post it and just now found it****


As I sit here putting words to my thoughts, I reflect on the past year and can see God's hand all in my life and on the path that has led me to where I am today. I also have to be honest and reflect on the darker sides of my year. As I become vulnerable in this post, I don't ask for a pity party, just an honest conversation with myself. I know I am not alone in these and hopefully someone reading this will know they are not alone either In the past 365 days, I admit:


I've doubted God more times than I care to say.

 I've been angry at God, actually really, really, really pissed off at Him

 I've been tempted by the Enemy, and fell head over heels for those temptations.

 I've claimed the name of God in one breathe and acted like an Atheist the very next.

 I've wanted to give up on living a Godly life, because sometimes it just felt too overwhelming.

 My actions, at times, could compare more to Judas than to Jesus.

I, in my darkest days, chose the world's way and left Jesus behind.

More than likely, in the past year, have led people away from Christ instead of leading people towards him.

I've broken God's heart because I wanted it my way, not His.

I've been mean, hurtful and vengeful to those that God loves and commands me to love too


But God, today, You say that none of that matters.

As they lead me to my death, You say, "Here, take my Son instead and let this sinner go free"

See, Your plan knew all of my past, present and future.

You knew that I would do these things, but God, today You say I am free.





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