Growing in the Gap

I once read a book by Jeff Goins titled, "The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing: A Spiritual Memoir". A short book, maybe only 120 pages or so but one of the most impactful reads I've ever had the pleasure of taking up.

The whole idea of this book places a target on the idea of always trying to get to the next big thing in our lives. As humans, we absolutely suck at being in the moment. I mean, even now, I sit in Starbucks typing away at my laptop while listening to music. For most, quiet and stillness is scary. We're always looking for the next step, instead of really hunkering down where we're at in life. 

I wish I could put a target on when this phenomenon started in my own life but as I look back, it has always been there. When I was a kid, I couldn't wait to become a teenager so I could drive and get away from what I thought was my parent's unfair rules. When I became a teenager, I couldn't wait to graduate and move out on my own, because at 16 I knew everything I needed to know and could make it out "in the real world" (If you didn't sense the sarcasm in that last sentence, please feel it now). When I graduated and went to college, I couldn't wait to get out of school, get a job and get married. 

Well now I'm out of college and married and I wish at some point, some one would've told me that it is ok to be ok with the present, all of the present. Embrace the good things, learn from the bad things. We're not meant to continue to jump from life stage to life stage, from one big thing to the next. We're meant to learn who we are, learn where we fit into this world, and learn how to live a life worth living. None of those things can happen at 120mph. 

So this is me, giving myself and you reading this, permission to rest. Permission to be ok with where you are, no matter how hard it may be right now. Every moment in life is a learning moment and a funny thing happens when we start zooming through without taking a break. We break. We need to learn, as I am doing so now, to live in the tension of the gaps of life. Jeff Goins talks about this in the book with this quote:

“Our journey is full of rest stops- park benches and airport terminals- that signal the arrival of things we anticipate. Sometimes, they´re worth the wait; other times, the glory doesn’t shine quite like wed hope. Regardless, we need to learn to live in this tension, to appreciate what we have and still hope for.”

Life happens all of the time, not just when we're in "on" mode. Relationships, jobs, and education all require cultivating as well as rests. All too often though, these "rests" feel incredible awkward and stretching. We often question why we need to be in the gap of life, whether it is a loss of a job, a friend, or significant other.

All of this to say, rest. Take time in the gap to grow. Continue with your responsibilities of this life but know there is opportunity in every road-block, rest bench, and detour. Learn to embrace the wait, not fight it. Use the gap as a time of self-reflection instead of a time of distraction.

“And as we embrace the wait, we learn to appreciate the delays and postponements that teach us some things in life are worth waiting for.”

 So move forward, knowing that this gap isn't permanent but needed. Grow in the gap, friends, grow.