A Letter to My Hero
To the best Grandmother a boy could ever ask for,
You know that poem on the side of your fridge? The one I wrote when I was younger and it talks about how I'll love you forever...that poem has been in my head since I heard the news of your lung cancer. I keep asking God why this is happening to you, why is this happening to our family? I know cancer is out there and I know it happens to other people, but when it hit this close to home, my world came crashing down. Small Cell Carcinoma? I remember asking myself what that was and googling everything I could about it. For my sake, I probably would've been better if I hadn't of looked into it.
When I talked to you on the phone the other day, you reminded me that I need to remember the good memories we've had together. You assured me that no matter what happens, you will be alright. You don't know how much I've needed to hear that. Although it hurts to think about a time when you're not here, knowing that you have a personal relationship with our Savior has brought an ultimate peace to me. You told me that as I grow older, people around me will begin to die. What a morbid thought, but I took it another way. I heard it as "As I grow older, people around me will get to experience Jesus' glory in person, they will get to meet their Maker face to face" What a glorious thought that is to me, Grandma.
There are honestly so many good memories with you. Feeding the goldfish in the little pond at your first house. Your pet deer. Playing in the refrigerator box on your porch. Halloween!!!. You telling me stories of the little leprechaun that lived at your old house. 4th of July Family Reunions. The zoo. Trips to go see Aunt Mattie. Christmases at Grandaddys' and Nana's house. My first fish caught with my very own fishing pole. Pulling out that wooden spoon whenever we needed it. Teaching me how to play piano. Easter Egg Hunts at Aunt Mattie's old house. Going to the Episcopal Church. You and your daisy duke shorts and your convertible mustang (Those were the "Cool" grandma years) Taking a bite out of the hotdog magnet, thinking it was a real hot dog. Oh there are so many more that I could on and on about.
I wish I could show you in more than words how proud I am to call you my grandmother. I know for a fact, I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't have you, my hero, growing up. Every time I called you to come rescue me from a home that was falling apart you would selflessly drop what you were doing and let me come spend the night. Every time I was scared to death of your "haunted houses" and sleeping in the bed alone, you would let me sleep in your room. You were my protector in many ways. I can honestly say that I have experience the love of God first hand, when He allowed me to be your grandson.
You start chemotherapy on Monday. I've heard that its very tough to go through that, but I know you are strong enough to make it through. So many people are praying for you. I pray not for healing, but for God's will to be done. I know that God has a plan to use this mountain we're climbing over for His perfect will. I pray for the peace and understanding as you go through this. I pray for our family, that we will not rely on our own strengths to get us through this, but on the Lord, because when we are weak, He is strong.
For almost 21 years, God has given me the privilege of having you as a grandmother. I thank Him everyday for that. And if it's His will for the cancer to go away, I know we will have many more years together. If it's not His will, then I know I will always have a protector, a guardian angel to watch over me. You told me since I was a boy that whenever you do pass away, look for the brightest star in the sky and that will be you. Grandma, in the darkest parts of my life so far, you have been that bright star leading me out of the dark spots. The one to support me and lead me to a better day. I am forever in debt to God and you for everything you had done for me. So what happens next? I can't answer that, only God can, but I know whatever happens, as you have assured me, you're going to be just fine. Stay strong and inspiring. I'll love you forever...
Love,
Reh
You know that poem on the side of your fridge? The one I wrote when I was younger and it talks about how I'll love you forever...that poem has been in my head since I heard the news of your lung cancer. I keep asking God why this is happening to you, why is this happening to our family? I know cancer is out there and I know it happens to other people, but when it hit this close to home, my world came crashing down. Small Cell Carcinoma? I remember asking myself what that was and googling everything I could about it. For my sake, I probably would've been better if I hadn't of looked into it.
When I talked to you on the phone the other day, you reminded me that I need to remember the good memories we've had together. You assured me that no matter what happens, you will be alright. You don't know how much I've needed to hear that. Although it hurts to think about a time when you're not here, knowing that you have a personal relationship with our Savior has brought an ultimate peace to me. You told me that as I grow older, people around me will begin to die. What a morbid thought, but I took it another way. I heard it as "As I grow older, people around me will get to experience Jesus' glory in person, they will get to meet their Maker face to face" What a glorious thought that is to me, Grandma.
There are honestly so many good memories with you. Feeding the goldfish in the little pond at your first house. Your pet deer. Playing in the refrigerator box on your porch. Halloween!!!. You telling me stories of the little leprechaun that lived at your old house. 4th of July Family Reunions. The zoo. Trips to go see Aunt Mattie. Christmases at Grandaddys' and Nana's house. My first fish caught with my very own fishing pole. Pulling out that wooden spoon whenever we needed it. Teaching me how to play piano. Easter Egg Hunts at Aunt Mattie's old house. Going to the Episcopal Church. You and your daisy duke shorts and your convertible mustang (Those were the "Cool" grandma years) Taking a bite out of the hotdog magnet, thinking it was a real hot dog. Oh there are so many more that I could on and on about.
I wish I could show you in more than words how proud I am to call you my grandmother. I know for a fact, I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't have you, my hero, growing up. Every time I called you to come rescue me from a home that was falling apart you would selflessly drop what you were doing and let me come spend the night. Every time I was scared to death of your "haunted houses" and sleeping in the bed alone, you would let me sleep in your room. You were my protector in many ways. I can honestly say that I have experience the love of God first hand, when He allowed me to be your grandson.
You start chemotherapy on Monday. I've heard that its very tough to go through that, but I know you are strong enough to make it through. So many people are praying for you. I pray not for healing, but for God's will to be done. I know that God has a plan to use this mountain we're climbing over for His perfect will. I pray for the peace and understanding as you go through this. I pray for our family, that we will not rely on our own strengths to get us through this, but on the Lord, because when we are weak, He is strong.
For almost 21 years, God has given me the privilege of having you as a grandmother. I thank Him everyday for that. And if it's His will for the cancer to go away, I know we will have many more years together. If it's not His will, then I know I will always have a protector, a guardian angel to watch over me. You told me since I was a boy that whenever you do pass away, look for the brightest star in the sky and that will be you. Grandma, in the darkest parts of my life so far, you have been that bright star leading me out of the dark spots. The one to support me and lead me to a better day. I am forever in debt to God and you for everything you had done for me. So what happens next? I can't answer that, only God can, but I know whatever happens, as you have assured me, you're going to be just fine. Stay strong and inspiring. I'll love you forever...
Love,
Reh
So lucky to have her in our lives Reh! Reading this post, it brought back so many memories for me too with that little fish pond, the tire swing, them giving us our own tadpoles, halloween, christmas, and so much more! We serve an awesome God and I know that this is all in his hands! Praying for Grandma and everyone continuously!!
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