A day of little faith and a heavy heart

So its just been one of those days...All day long I've felt God just pulling at me and telling me to stop and be still. He set my heart today on Africa and my upcoming missions trip. As my heart got heavier throughout the day, I began to wonder why God chose me to be one of the ones to go to Africa. Don't get me wrong, I'm not questioning God, I just wonder because I lived such an impure and sinful live before, so why didn't He pick someone who lived a more Godly life. Here is a poem that was inspired by today:

Here am I, far from a saint, closer to a sinner...
To do Your work, You picked me, a mere beginner...
So many others who fit the role...
Still You picked me to go save souls...
I sit and wonder, how can this be...
That an Almighty God would pick small, unworthy guy like me...
Who am I that you would see below...
To pick me among many and tell me to go...
A sinner's heart, yet You saw through...
With arms wide open when I came running back to you...
With a past like mine, its hard to see
Why You picked a prodigal son like me...
So here I go to do Your will...
And You are there telling my heart to be still...
As I sit, my past is clear...
You let me go through it all so I could get here...
This was all part of Your plan...
 A sinful boy transformed into a saved man...
A heart reassured, a mind set at ease...
Your quiet words calmed the roughest seas..
No longer am I asking why...
Because on You, not myself, I will forever rely...
A peace like a river engulfed my heart...
I may not save the whole world, but Swaziland, Africa is where I'll do my part...







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